in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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