why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
