Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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