I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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