I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
