Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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