Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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