we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
