My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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