I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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