I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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