we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
