If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
