I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
