My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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