all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize