Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
