The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
