I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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