I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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