things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
