I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
