Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
