He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
