I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
