College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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