i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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