If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
