There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
