New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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