it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
