Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
