She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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