I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
