i barfeds in our rink
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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