yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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