I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she smelled like a LAN party
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
