Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
there was a trapeze. enough said
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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