To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
