dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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