if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
