is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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