I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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