Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
