is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
