well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
