Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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