I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize