Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
