She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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