I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.