Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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(631): View more from New York

You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol

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(315): View more from New York

It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios

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(301): View more from Maryland

it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.

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