Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

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  (408): At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now. http://tfl.nu/049i
  Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (1828)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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  (713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp
  Replies (30) Good night (4427) Bad night (664)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38702) Bad night (1396)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.

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  (715): i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign. http://tfl.nu/r2le
  Replies (15) Good night (5229) Bad night (981)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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  (386): you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/n48i
  Replies (18) Good night (991) Bad night (4313)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.

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  (614): She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up. http://tfl.nu/g4hi
  Replies (10) Good night (5793) Bad night (649)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

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  (847): I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. http://tfl.nu/6fwn
  Replies (52) Good night (5244) Bad night (1369)
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  (562): View more from California

  sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

  (1-562): View more from California

  there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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  (562): sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone (1-562): there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue http://tfl.nu/8olm
  Replies (9) Good night (905) Bad night (2506)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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  (937): I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality? http://tfl.nu/z0do
  Replies (11) Good night (2841) Bad night (876)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.

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  (732): Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate. http://tfl.nu/stwp
  Replies (9) Good night (1599) Bad night (660)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?

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  (608): Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/t0sh
  Replies (7) Good night (1658) Bad night (591)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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  (270): I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night... http://tfl.nu/q37f
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (1107)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I didn't notice because vodka

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  (832): I didn't notice because vodka http://tfl.nu/t52z
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (464)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

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  (757): Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window? http://tfl.nu/40u0
  Replies (6) Good night (635) Bad night (282)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle

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  (732): He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle http://tfl.nu/wavz
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (184)

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