waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
