she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.