eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..