College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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