we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you are never too drunk for berry picking
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
