Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think my fart just growled at me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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