so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
