Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
