At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
