he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize