think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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